Things I've been looking at.

  Ulrika Kestere via ulicam

 Danna Ray

 Lily Stockman

 Via a now-defunct tumblr

 Zoe Poster via designsponge

 Andy Goldsworthy via All the Mountains

 Both Curiot via Fecal Face

 Mari Andrews

 Nose Go via Fecal Face

 Ian Hughes via Fecal Face

Just, you know... letting things marinate. Trying to calm down, get inspired, and then who knows what could happen.

The beginning.

I wrote this several nights ago when I stayed awake until two a.m., strung out on caffeine and an unresolved never-ending to-do list and the knowledge that soon a progression of events would lead me to the border of Mexico with nothing but a pack on my back, a few friends, and a very long walk ahead of me.

Today if all goes well I begin walking from Mexico to Canada! 2,600 miles and some change. I won't be posting every day because unlike the vast majority of hikers, I do not have a smart phone. But when I have time I'll stop in libraries and hostels and I'll be sure to share my photos and stories then. One of the easiest ways to find out when I've posted is to "follow" my blog by using that option at the top of the blog. (Mom & Dad, if that's too complicated just bookmark this page!)

Thanks to all my friends and family; I feel so lucky to have you spread throughout my life. To everyone who shared with me small bits of kindness this winter; it was an extraordinarily lonely season but it taught me that the people I know are wonderful. Thank you for the letters and meals and visits and emails and gifts and offers of couches to crash on. You might not have realized it, but all of you got me through a really tough time. I may not always be around, but know that I think of all of you far more often than you might think.

Love,

Moss

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!”

So you want to send me a mail drop...

hurray! By all means, please do. These are a few of my favorite mail drop things:

Loose leaf tea (I'm carrying a really light metal mesh tea ball for steeping, which I'm pretty excited about but I have a feeling there won't be many tea shops along the way.)
Starbucks Via instant packets (or coarse ground coffee I can brew in the tea ball!)
Magazines of any ilk (especially National Geographic.)
Chocolate.
....Or really any sort of candy that also contains sea salt.
Fun Facts.
Healthy food stuff. (Interpret that however you like, as long as it tastes good.)
Really, really really good non-supermarket beef jerky.
Sample sizes of hair conditioner (...if you mail me this I will love you forever. Unconditionally. HA.)

And best of all, letters. 

Here's a list of my mail drop addresses/ETA's. They are only for California right now. There will eventually be a few in OR and WA too. I did a really, really vague estimation of arrival dates for each destination. This means if you're sending me homemade cookies, they could be extremely stale by the time I belatedly arrive. (I would probably still quite happily eat them, though!)

I know I'm not being too presumptuous because I've had a few requests for mail drop information already... and at the least, now my mom has some good care package ideas! (Thanks in advance, mom... love you!)

PS: the Post Office will find me much more likeable if you label whatever you are sending exactly how I have it listed here.

Angela Zukowski c/o
Kennedy Meadows General Store
96740 Beach Meadow Rd
Inyokern, CA 93527
Please hold for PCT hiker ETA 6/1

Angela Zukowski c/o
General Delivery Independence PO
101 S. Edwards St
Independence, CA 93526
Please hold for PCT hiker ETA 6/6

Angela Zukowski c/o
General Delivery, Belden PO
14151 State Hwy 70
Belden, CA 95915
Please hold for PCT hiker ETA 7/2

Angela Zukowski c/o
General Delivery Old Station PO
12529 State Highway 44/89
Old Station, CA 96071
Please hold for PCT hiker ETA 7/7

2 years ago on this day:

I started an incredible journey. I'm now 3 days away from beginning another one. HOW LUCKY AM I?!

A thoroughly necessary indulgence.

Yesterday I whined a little bit about the challenges and monotony of hiker food while leaving out the most important issue that I struggled with: nutrition. On my last hike, I started off very diligently attempting to eat dehydrated meals and dried fruit and protein powder and by the last 500 miles I was consuming nothing but junk food like Doritos and candy. It was a terrible diet and it was reflected in my daily exhaustion. I met a hiker in New England who I had blown past on my very first day of hiking in Georgia but hadn't seen since, and his exact words upon greeting me were "What happened? You used to be fast."

A balanced diet with healthy ingredients while hiking is incredibly difficult to maintain. You want food that is convenient to carry and eat, and often the options are limited. At many grocery stores the best you can do is a Nutri-Grain or Clifbar, and let's be honest, that isn't all that nutritious or appealing... which is why I am so excited that Raw Revolution has agreed to supply me with some of their product. Sprouted flax seeds and organic ingredients: these are a few of my favorite things... and when they come in the form of a raspberry chocolate bar well, things just don't get much better! This is a company that definitely knows the way to my heart!

I'm much more excited about my mail drops now. You can buy Raw Revolution products online and check them out on facebook. I'm looking forward to tasting all of their varieties soon, especially the organic greens superfood bars. Happy Friday! I have just days to get my act together before I fly to San Diego and hit the trail. I'm getting incredibly overwhelmed with excitement.

Reasons why.

Although generally they are very supportive, one of my good friends was incredulous when she heard that I had decided to hike the PCT. "Why?" She asked. "You were miserable on the last hike. You hated it!" This was a logical conclusion for her to make since I tended to make phone calls to her when I was extraordinarily bored and/or miserable. There was a monumental struggle with ennui on the Appalachian Trail and I'm curious to see how I cope with it on my second attempt at a long distance hike.

I should call friends and family more often when the amazing aspects of hiking occur so that I can convey the reasons why I feel this love and longing towards hiking... but when you're in the woods you don't usually want to whip out your phone at these moments.

So for those of you to whom I perpetually complained about boredom and filth here is an apology and just a few of many moments that I should really should have shared, instead of complaining for the umpteenth time that I smelled bad. I can't wait to discover the many reasons why the Pacific Crest Trail will be far more wonderful than it is terrible. These pictures only convey the smallest fraction of the joy and freedom you get to experience while living life on a long distance trail.

Dressing up.

"You, said my colleague, are really girly."

This was a pronouncement issued in a tone that allowed for no arguing. A tone that almost sounded accusatory, as if girliness was something I should apologize for. Now, bear in mind that my job at this time issued an axe to each of us during training. We got down on our hands and knees in mud and hugged 200 pound rocks, straining to move them with our entire body. We quite literally shoveled shit. I shaved my legs only once that summer (and only to the knees). I went ten days at a time without showering. Crocs and Carhartts were standard attire. I felt slightly insulted when he informed me of my girliness... and yet I can't argue with that statement.

I wore dresses on my days off. I was caught wearing makeup once (I was with my girlfriends in an urban location and then forgot to wash it off!) to the astonishment of another co-worker. And I'll admit it, the crocs I wore at my tentsite (a shoe I once swore I'd never wear) were an especially feminine style. Don't judge me too harshly.

For over five months on the Appalachian Trail I didn't even have a second pair of shoes. I walked all day in a pair of trail runners; if I wanted a change of pace in town or in camp I let the laces hang untied or I walked around barefoot. I had a warm jacket. A rain coat. A pair of spandex tights for cold days and laundry days. A pair of shorts. A tank top. A long sleeve shirt. Two pairs of socks and a single pair of underwear. That was my wardrobe in its entirety: nine articles of clothing. I was starved for variety; I daydreamed about wearing jeans and a cotton t-shirt.

I'm about to embrace the pared-down hiker wardrobe again but this time as I stared at my closet, attempting to scrounge up a hiking wardrobe while spending as little money as possible I had a sudden epiphany in the form of a peacock blue cotton dress. 4.1 breezy ounces of girliness. Worth it.

YES.

For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking, breathlessly. 

don Juan

Art by Cath McMurray

Mesmerizing.

Watch wind carve patterns here.

Ps: Exactly 2 weeks until the big adventure begins!

A brief respite.

I may have a lot of things on my mind right now but listen: when viewing from on high gusts of wind as they sweep across a lake and swirl water into tiny feathers of direction even I can't help but relax a little. (Before proceeding for the 4th time in less than 3 weeks to drive in the wrong direction as I attempted to make my way home - AHHHH.).


20 days until the hike begins. Far too many unchecked boxes on my to-do list, still. Mind is clearly not here, located instead somewhere in the vicinity of the Mexican border... only briefly returning to New Hampshire for a lunch break on a ledge.

Asahel Curtis

Today I was researching* Edward Curtis (a photographer who documented Native Americans at the beginning of the 20th century) when I stumbled across his lesser-known brother via NPR. Asahel was also a photographer and what caught my eye were these colorized lantern slides of Washington that were commissioned by the Washington state Department of Conservation and Development of the time.

NPR's article at one point says "...just as often the images are beautiful because they create a world with its own integrity, either by their awkwardness or because the color they offer is better than what we experience in the real world."

 Well, I beg to differ, NPR!

 I think that the color that I'll be experiencing in the beautiful state of Washington while on the Pacific Crest Trail will suit me just fine thankyouverymuch!**



*And by researching, I mean procrastinating of course.
** I drank too much coffee before writing this. Clearly.

Andrew Wyeth

The color palette of Andrew Wyeth's work is subdued, as is his imagery... and his work has been dismissed by critics as sentimental, provincial and illustrative.

But what I see is a man whose translation of the everyday imbues a sort of magic realism to the ordinary. “By means of art we are sometimes sent dimly, briefly, revelations unattainable by reason, like that little mirror in fairy tales. Look into it and you will see not yourself but for a moment, that which passes understanding, a realm to which no man can ride or fly and for which the soul begins to ache.” 

Occasionally I feel a slight tug deep inside of me, as if my heart is being squeezed, and there's a flash of gratitude and love for something so much bigger than me. It can be triggered by almost anything outside: a puddle, mountains, clouds, a raven hanging above me on a summit, a circle of lichen on a tree, the scent of sun-warmed dirt and pine needles, a silhouette of weeds; I don't even need to be hiking for this to happen, sometimes it's just while driving and catching a brief glimpse of the surrounding environment as it flashes past. It's something profoundly simple, beautiful and evocative. Something that makes my soul ache.

In other words, what I am trying to tell you is that while by society's standards I may be hopelessly single... I realized recently that I am in the best goddamn relationship of my life and it's with dirt and rocks and trees and sky. Thank you Andrew Wyeth, for your visual reminder of the visceral reaction that even ordinary surroundings can evoke... if you love them enough.

  
Trodden Weed, The Carry and Ice Pool by Andrew Wyeth. Images sourced here and here. Solzhenitsyn quote sourced from an excellent blog post about Wyeth found here.

Days well spent.

 I was too lazy to document it all but here are some excerpts from my last two sets of days off.

 

 

 

Long distance hike in approximately one month. Until then, maple sugaring party, sunshine, smoothies, coffee, goat cheese brie, pizza making and other wonderful things.